A Christmas Day Calf

I spent the holidays back in my homestate of Alabama, and it was terrific.  There was so much Chick-Fil-A and Krispy Kreme consumed that I reckon I'll be detoxing from the South for a good month before my dietary habits get back to normal. 

One of the high points of my trip was driving up to Tennessee with my dear sweet Momma on Christmas Day.  Most of my roots are still in the Deep South, and whenever I'm that side of the Mason-Dixon line, I try to get some time in with family in Centertown, Tennessee.  My last trip to see my Tennessee kinfolk was way back in 2012, so my visit back to the Farm was long overdue.

Most of the family's got a history in farming, and Uncle Pug - who's in his late 70s - is still up and at 'em.  Imagine my surprise when he tells me Christmas morning that one of his Black Angus cows birthed a little one just a few hours earlier!  Somehow I talked Uncle Pug into naming it Candice, because let's get real - who doesn't want to have livestock named after them?  What an awesome, one-of-a-kind Christmas present!

Check out the video below of when Uncle Pug and I took the four-wheeler on the farm in search of "Candice."  My fave part is at the 02:19 minute mark when Uncle Pug tells me about "Big Daddy."  Enjoy!

Uncle Pug.  Quite the character.

"Candice" and Momma Cow.

They call this one "Candice."

I don't know this cow's name.  I will call it "Grumpy Cow."

O is for Oosik

 
A cache of oosiks for sale in Anchorage.  You know you're a real Alaskan when you have one of these on your bookshelf.

A cache of oosiks for sale in Anchorage.  You know you're a real Alaskan when you have one of these on your bookshelf.

ODE TO AN OOSIK

Strange things have been done in the Midnight Sun,
and the story books are full---
But the strangest tale concerns the male,
magnificent walrus bull!

I know it's rude, quite common and crude,
Perhaps it is grossly unkind;
But with first glance at least, this bewhiskered beast,
is as ugly in front as behind.

Look once again, take a second look -- then
you'll see he's not ugly or vile --
There's a hint of a grin, in that blubbery chin --
and the eyes have a shy secret smile.

How can this be, this clandestine glee
that exudes from the walrus like music?
He knows, there inside, beneath blubber and hide
lies a splendid contrivance -- the Oosik!

"Oosik" you say -- and quite well you may,
I'll explain if you keep it between us;
In the simplest truth, though rather uncouth
"Oosik" is, in fact, his penis!

Now the size alone of this walrus bone,
would indeed arouse envious thinking --
It is also a fact, documented and backed,
There is never a softening or shrinking!

This, then, is why the smile is so sly,
the walrus is rightfully proud.
Though the climate is frigid, the walrus is rigid,
Pray, why, is not man so endowed?

Added to this, is a smile you might miss ---
Though the bull is entitled to bow --
The one to out-smile our bull by a mile
is the satisfied walrus cow!

(Anonymous)

The Wildest Visitor

What is considered "once-in-a-lifetime" for most has become a common sight for many in Juneau, Alaska.  A pod of killer whales (orcas) visited the Gastineau Channel in Juneau last Friday afternoon (March 21, 2014).  They traveled north past the Juneau-Douglas Bridge, and about 45 minutes later, returned south since the waterway three miles north is too shallow.  What a wild way to spend the lunch break!

An orca surfaces underneath the Juneau-Douglas Bridge.  Notice the onlookers standing on the shores of Douglas Island.