Cold is Relative

"Momma, I'm movin' to Alaska."

"What?! Are you outta your pea-pickin' mind?"

"Yes, ma'am."

Not long after this heated conversation, I came across the following comical rundown of Alaskans' approach to weather.  Of course, I promptly sent it to my Mom.  She was not impressed. 

  • At 65°F ABOVE zero: People in Florida turn on the heat.  People in Alaska plant gardens.

  • At 60°F: People in California shiver uncontrollably. People in Alaska sunbathe.

  • At 50°F: Italian and English cars won't start.  People in Alaska drive with the windows down.

  • At 40°F: People in Georgia don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, and wool hats.  People in Alaska throw on a flannel shirt.

  • At 30°F: New York landlords finally turn up the heat.  People in Alaska have the last cookout before it gets cold.  (I can attest to this.)

  • At 0°F: People in Arizona fly away to Mexico.  People in Alaska get out their winter coats.

  • At 10°F BELOW zero: Hollywood disintegrates.  Girl Scouts in Alaska are selling cookies door to door.

  • At - 20°F: Washington, D.C. runs out of hot air.  People in Alaska let the dogs sleep indoors.

  • At - 30°F: Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.  Alaskans get upset because they can't start the snowmachine.

  • At - 40°F: ALL atomic motion stops.  People in Alaska start saying, "Cold enough for ya?"

  • At - 50°F: Hell freezes over.  Alaska public schools will open two hours late.

Please note: I am not the author of the above bullet points; just merely reposting as I think y'all will get a kick out of it.  Right now, it's a balmy 27°F in Juneau.  And I'm wearing flip-flops.